That look on your face
Breathless and panicked
With a half-decade behind
Just to start all over
Just to keep life going as it was
Just to focus on new responsibilities
Just to put out new flames
Just to exhaust new strategies
Just to wake up to new joys
Just to bask in new snuggles
Just to love this new little-christ
Tomorrow we break the news
With the other three
With mochi and smartphones
At first you dragged us
Against our will and into your life
Irresistibly impelling the I
We were humbled
Then you showered gifts
Washing us with precious promises
Of life, of good, of blessings to come, even protection from prey
We were inspired
So, we did as you commanded
Day after day, studying to preach and pray
Students on mission, on fire without a cage
We persevered
Life happened
Decades passed
We became as gods
Knowing good and evil
Knowing the difference
Between planting corn and strawberries
Curiosity piqued
In our quest of you
Analyzed and perused
Unexamined details sprouted like never before
It was as though, for once, we both reached an impasse
Then we each watched each other's tide
Encroach upon our iconic moat and sand castle
While each of us did nothing
What happened to the One who saved us?
Where did all the power and sovereignty go?
Will you not do for us what we cannot do for ourselves?
Why the silent treatment now?
Nothing but silence, casting doubt
In despair, questioning if you’d ever been there
In loneliness, orphaned and stranded
Why should we care?
A generation of wandering
Around this citadel of sand
And you would not coddle or swaddle us once more
Why not drag us, or woo us, or inspire us again?
Why jettison every word of promise?
Convince us to care, if you dare
Then the seed finally died
Children abandoned their fathers
Servants betrayed their masters
Fruitless branches pruned from the vine
Because juvenility reigned
Only a few learned to increase in likeness and sovereignty
Even fewer took control of this monergistic gift for all
To honor father and mother when they’re no longer needed
And trust this first synergistic word with promise
These potatoes represent so much to me
They represent what I imagined us to be
From little spuds to flaky skins
To bring together the best there is
The WHOLE of us together in bliss
Then Satan entered and deceived the kids
May the Lord grant such a time again
When we can munch on tots as friends
And laugh about how wrong they were
To question the prophet and cause a stir
Must we?
Dress up like candy canes
Consume lots of sweets, meats, and alchoholic treats
Must we?
Open presents one by one in front of all
Even though I brought nothing but myself
And they pretend to know me
Must we?
Pretend to be tightly knit
And write checks for simple services
Insisted for free
Another year
Another festive funeral service survived
Christ is born—Glorify him, they don’t say
The three stooges just offer their gifts
While eighteen bystanders pretend to enjoy the show
It’s like they participate to please Herod or Caesar
So I did what I do best
Pray boldly and ask forgiveness later
And pray louder than the fools in the tomb
Even an infected ear can hear the difference
I prayed last night
It feels right to draw a line in the sand
I’m not sure if it’s wrong to never cross that line again
Even for artificial peace
In the moment it feels more wrong than right
Why should I care about him?
Because that’s what Jesus would supposedly do?
What if he’s a pharisee?
Should I pray for Saul to become Paul?
For forgiveness, because he doesn’t know what he’s doing?
Saul repented when confronted
He accepted change
And as far as forgiveness goes
It turns out that our Father did not forgive them all
Forty years were offered to repent
And become children again
He doesn’t have that many years left though
He knows he should do something
I prayed he would
Or, at least I think I did
Maybe I fell asleep
Before I got to that part
If he does do what is right
Does anyone even know what that would look like?
None of us were surprised
He came and brought her
And made excuses afterward
It was a good time apart nonetheless
Kids puking will become his excuse
To normalize dysfunction
He convinced many for a time, times, and half a time
That he really does love us
Just not enough to take us seriously
This is because he sees the missing
He knows how nations are discipled
His whole life is one adopted failure after another
Old man, you have built very little
Defended quite a lot of your own panache
And sustained absolutely nothing but a reputation
For yourself