Monday, December 27, 2021

Christmas Wish


Good morning, Noble-One.

It was so nice to have your whole family over to our home last night, for many hours of unmasked and socially-close feasting and fellowship, in preparation for our entire family's Christmas celebrations tomorrow. Hearts flutter in the heavenly abode of Jesus as I type these words to you.

I am also happy you met Memoria, our new refugee family member for the next eight months. After you left, I pursued the magnanimous task of clarifying some confusion in the mind of Memoria, who inquired about our vaccination status. I forgot to inform her before your arrival yesterday that your entire family is not vaccinated. As I have interpreted her feelings on this matter, I now know that she is not comfortable being indoors with people who are not vaccinated. 

I failed. I’m such a failure. Failure is my saint name.

I did not sleep well last night. Pity me, my beloved Noble-One

My heart is heavy, like a millstone dragging my earnest desires into the depths of the sea. 

So you must know: I want our entire family—yours included—to be together. I really do. But this millstone God chained to me is His will, and all part of His marvelous plan of Redemption. And grace. And mercy. And love.

Last year was painful for everyone. The masks. The ideology-based segregation. Treating your family alone as being ceremonially unclean and defiled. The badgering of your oldest son about his mask drooping ever-so-slightly below his nose, while all of us shivered indoors in temperatures well below zero. But all that was necessary, because of CDC guidelines. 

Sadly, I think it caused distance between you and your siblings. I cry crocodile tears over it now. 

Months later, the bridal shower you and I attended unmasked and undistanced brought me tremendous joy! Then, sadly, you and I injured each other afterward. It was not just me injuring you. You injured me too. 

Beloved Noble-One, I love you. I don’t love your husband, and I never have; nor might I ever. But that’s a separate issue I’m unwilling to get counseling over. It helps that your father is a domestic doormat, too. So don't expect much change in regard to things we both are unwilling to change.

I have remained immensely burdened by missing out on many things in your life over the past ten years of your marriage to him. And I know you have missed out on many things in our lives over that period, too. Let’s not point fingers as to who is to blame for both. Instead, let’s mourn together. But let’s also rejoice because I know our Redeemer lives!

I know that God cares for each and every one of us—even the unvaccinated! He cares about our sorrows, our heartbreaks, and I trust He will use opportunities like bridal showers to create healing, joy, and new experiences we can all rally around and celebrate together!

This. Is. My. Prayer.

My. Christmas. Wish.

I truly love you all equally, and my goal is to honor and respect everyone in our family, regardless of vaccination status. 

Oh, how I wish we all could have what we wish for!

Oh, how I wish we all could have what we need!

But our comfort zones around the unvaccinated differ. And it is, sadly, with thick crocodile tears, clear to me that this is not possible for Christmas this year (tomorrow). 

God has invited us to welcome Memoria into our hearts and into our home. We have accepted God’s invitation. It is now our privilege and responsibility to honor her, love her, and respect her too. 

I went to bed praying, tossing and turning, in chains of despair wound tight all around me. I asked God to show me what to do, to set me free. And He answered me with gracious words of affirmation about how Memoria feels. So this decision is no longer about me and my desires. This decision is God’s and Memoria’s.

When Memoria woke up this morning, I told her what God invited me to enforce, starting today: “I will not have unvaccinated people in our home without masks while she is here.”

She hugged me and said, “Thank you.” Then she said, “This will surely make the Noble-One feel sad.” I told her this makes me sad, too; but God revealed to me His will, and I will not deviate from it, because I am my Beloved’s and He is mine. 

That turned into an opportunity for brief comments about God, who was willing to bear heartache with His own Son on the cross, for the sake of others (even the unvaccinated).

I am praying God will use this for his glory. But what I have to say next is going to be very hard for you to hear:

Ko-Vid cases are rising. I will need to be very careful about having unvaccinated people here indoors. So then, I’m wondering if I can drop off your family’s gifts today, so that they could be opened tomorrow over FaceTime?


with love of Jesus in my heart,



P.S.  Two of my grandchildren (who are not in your household) are still too young to be allowed the sacramental gift of vaccination, because the FDA has not yet approved an experimental gene therapy injection for their age group. But I will make an exception for them both for all of Christmas day (tomorrow) because I’m a complete fucking hypocrite. 


Friday, December 24, 2021

Merry Christmas (2021)!


There seem to be three diplomatic options for holiday gatherings this year:

The first is for families and friends who are fully vacksed to gather together, with the ‘host’ requesting that only the unvacksed wear masks, stay six feet apart, use hand sanitizers, wash hands regularly, and open up windows for ‘proper ventilation’; or that all guests regardless of vacksinashun status wear masks, stay six feet apart, use hand sanitizers, wash hands regularly, and open up windows for ‘proper ventilation.’ And of course, the host should notify all who are invited that they must stay home (and away from gatherings) if there are any indications of sickness whatsoever. Even the slightest indication of sniffles, congestion, sore throat, or higher-than-usual body temperatures must be treated as disease-spreading germ factories. 

The second is for families to gather together according to each family’s boundaries. Whoever hosts a gathering should welcome all invited, vacksed and unvacksed, who are not clearly sick with a contagious disease. That way, no individual liberties are denied, no psychic powers purported, no fear-porn distributed, and no medical apartheid subtly encouraged from the outset. Guests may also wear masks, stay six feet apart, use hand sanitizers, wash hands regularly, and go outside for ‘proper ventilation’, if that makes them feel safer; or even it it merely satisfies the quasi-religious contingencies of faithfulness to their triune god, Science, a.k.a. Big Gov, Big Tech, and Big Pharma; or even if it merely satisfies the functionally religious honor due to the cultural saints they venerate (Fauci, Gates, Biden, Pelosi, Cuomo, et. al.).

The third option is for families to gather together, but only after the ‘host’ has properly vetted and identified all those among their invited guests who are uncomfortable being around others who are healthy, not-sick, but still (possibly) unvacksed. Then, after proper vetting, all those who are uncomfortable gathering around the healthy, non-sick, and unvacksed should be segregated from the rest. This will accomodate all unpredictable paranoia and thereby, also, welcome all mentally and emotionally stable guests within an environment that is actually healthy and celebratory.*** That way, all parties win: the paranoid can celebrate in paranoid isolation, and the healthy, non-sick, and unvacksed can enjoy Christmas together as they always did prior to this Great Reset.

*** This statement has not been approved by the FDA, CDC, WHO, Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation, or Facebook and Instagram fact-checkers. 

Thursday, December 23, 2021

Ode 4


Where are you?

Not, Where were you?

No one really cares about the past

What matters is this time

With the accuser

Held by a seemingly long chain

Perhaps it’s all our fault, though

Imagining ourselves under your curse

Under the reign of death

Hurling through the vacuum 

Of meaninglessness toward infinity

Our fathomless distance from life

If it even cares

All we seem to care about is now

This present, this gift

This already but not yet

Along with paying our mortgage

And our taxes

You became man to warm our innards

To show us what love is

Whatever that means

While we lose our jobs

Lose our sleep

Lose our freedoms of self

Pondering this age of madness

The slave cries out

Where are you?

He doesn’t need hope

That some day you’ll both meet

And you’ll wipe away the tears

He needs you now

He needs to you here now

Not some future day

When the sea gives up its dead

For one hour of the thy faithfulness

Is more than all hours and years

Thursday, December 9, 2021

Picking Adam's Apple

Let’s start over

I offer peace and you offered war

I hear longing for God and you heard excuses for whoring

I see Christians and you saw pagans

I seek to bind up wounds and you reached for a sword

I provide exegesis and you delivered cliches

I view them as personal offenses and you hunted for any public unrepented sin

I bow down before Christ and you venerated stone tablets

I make room for prodigals and you sought to destroy the Son

I hand you an icon of Jesus and you delivered the messenger to Satan

In the end it’s just you and your bucket of apples, picked freshly for Eve

While I wait and watch and wonder if you pay attention to what God really said

Ten magical words define you, but they don’t speak for themselves

Eye Hate


The pastor

reformed in all his ways

defriending all the crazies

hunting down their snitches

preparing for war with non-existent enemies

The monk

seated in silence

preparing to offer the 9th mode

barking at guests afterward

resting among the dead

The parishioner

yapping about his studies

offering his gift of hospitality

freeloading off everyone else

wasting everyone’s time

The cantors

standing at the kliros

puppeteering better than Kermit

jerking off to their own cadence

embarrassing us all