And profitable writing

 

Here we go again

Another apologetic

Whipping out shiny blades of tribal tradition 

To chop up uncertainty 

If the other won’t surrender

To the good news that his steel glistens

And is sharper than any two-edged sword

Then comes the twirly dance like a ninja ballerina

To show how conversant he is in his own culture

The point is to bedazzle

So the weapons of his warfare don’t actually get soiled

So then, be afraid boys and girls 

As the professional armchair samurais protect the clan

Don’t try this at home, the disclaimer reads

Carved into the thick air

These bad boys can pierce through soul and spirit

So beware

I then slowly withdraw my first defense

Reading loudly 

πᾶσα γραφὴ θεόπνευστος καὶ ὠφέλιμος πρὸς διδασκαλίαν, 

πρὸς ἐλεγμόν, πρὸς ἐπανόρθωσιν, 

πρὸς παιδείαν τὴν ἐν δικαιοσύνῃ, 

ἵνα ἄρτιος ᾖ ὁ τοῦ θεοῦ ἄνθρωπος, 

πρὸς πᾶν ἔργον ἀγαθὸν ἐξηρτισμένος

Everyone stares in silence 

Because they can’t see the mountain

Full of chariots of fire all around

And they don't even know what that means

Authentic misery

 

It happened.

I asked. Then silence

For an awkward sixty

Three seconds. So I mentioned 

Resources available.

Then insecurity burst out,

Like a wizard who never cast

The right spell even though

He wrote the book.

So I clarified.

They’re online, I said.

The resources. They’re new.

That’s why they were produced.

Then, awkward whispers ensued,

And after another uncomfortable 

Minute, one excuse poured out

Beyond the softened, airy mumbles

Of buried shame painted as stability.

Our situation is complicated, he said.

Yes, you’re right, I said.

And I won’t be surprised 

If you recoil and shrink

Into isolation, where there is no

Vulnerability, which helps you remain

Unwilling to learn how we can help.

Inception

Planting a seed

Takes time

The right light and warmth

And moisture

At fingertips

With you

It's worth every minute

Of waiting and tasting

Every pulse

Every wave

Quietly announcing

We found divinity

Slame

You are the mirror of my worst

Show me what I look like, to your face

But once we face each other

I can’t fight you, for you

You’ll need to slice knuckles on glass to get to me

And prove that dead men do bleed after all

Once there is blood

You’ll bleed the most

If you refuse to heal

If you retreat into solitariness with your angst and shame

Instead of meeting together in our tears

Breakfast at Wendy's

 

I was born into this womb of a world

And kept alive by a wannabe doctor

That’s the best I can say

About one's contribution

Fed from the pulpit

One Sunday at a time

I wasn’t fed poison or medicine

It was more like chips and soda for breakfast

And microwaved lasagna and fruit punch for dinner

Without blushing or sarcasm

It's what the doctor ordered

Excom

Is it possible

He married a pagan

To subdue and humiliate?

All was grand until her first episode

The box opened and never shut without medication

For many years he cared for her

Like a drunk german shepherd 

Migrating from the Czech republic

To old steel mills with pride and headship

For many years he loved her

And she felt loved as long as she wasn’t anxious

And he often made her anxious

With his bitter barks

Please hand me a pillow to shove down a throat

To silence and comfort us all

God only knows what we saw and heard

At home and while driving

God only knows her bite was as nasty as his bark

Couldn’t he try to empathize or listen?

At some point that became impossible

She was crazy

He tried everything but a straightjacket 

And tenderness and humility

Vulnerability in the face of shame

He even wailed and cried for demons to be cast out

And it didn’t work

She was possessed with crazy Love

All that was needed to reciprocate love:

Change into the prince she needed

It makes perfect sense if you think about it

Oil and water mix perfectly

He’s oil. She’s water.

He’s anointed priest and patriarch of the Lord’s lost tribe

She’s baptized to serve and bathe in submission

To offer her last lepta for salvation

And birth a man-child for kidnapping, if need be

So the Spirit turned water into wine

To make him drink a cup of fury 

Before pouring it over his head

And so, what came to be in response to the beloved’s anointing?

A wife was found to meet and help

To frame mischief with a law

A court set up to accuse and excuse

Witnesses reared to testify

To put her to death

And they did, like compliant little pups

Who imagined their mother abandoned them for demons

Good riddance, they thought

Now we can finally have a real Christian home

Save me

 

Most holy Lady, mother of mine

My soul fills with sorrows

I want to say something good

Because there is good to be spoken

But good necessitates beauty

And every time we talk or text

Or meet in person

He’s predictably awkward and ugly

I could say that to his face

But he can’t see the good in it

What else could I say?

To his face, I could cry

Saying he never has changed

He has never listened

He has never learned

Although he’s intelligent

And has ears that hear

He uses both to posture peculiarly

Sometimes politely, to not appear so strange

Most times, to be the expert in conversation

Far less, though, to sit in the seat of the scornful

That would be good to say

But he can’t receive it favorably

As the wounds of a friend

It’s just another wounding

An opportunity for imprecation

Like Saul clutching the spear

He’s tough and fearless as a lion

And fierce in battle as the unicorn

Yet tired of battling within his home

For respect and guidance

For trust and honor

What now can be done now that he is exposed?

You tried to honor him

But he would not listen

You pleaded obsessively for him to learn

But he never could imprecate himself

And this time he can’t silence you

Your voice has gone out into all the world

Crying in a wilderness of error

Will there be change from now on?

I cry out to you, O Physician

I acknowledge your works of wonders for the dead

She describes your mercy in the grave

And your truth in destruction

Intercede for us sinners

Our souls draw near to Hades

Do not forsake us sinners

O God, forgive us our sins

And have mercy on us.