I remember my first thought being about a can of soup
Everything changed with my birth
Or was it a shot?
The docs were oblivious and Merck never made a peep
I remember the sandwich bags
The drenched vivas
Flies in window sills
Roadkill and raindrops spreading disease
I remember a holy man driving our Sunday route ahead of us
Just to remove diabolical obstacles
So we could make it on time
And spare us all your bitching and carwashing
I remember covering my face from fumes
The greasy plaid couch pillows
The lysol spraying
The chlorine cleansing
I remember the eyes closed
The wiping of faucets
The crossing a brass fluted transition
The holes you burned in carpets to save the kosmos
I remember the video games and chips and soda
The weight gain
The weight loss
The bitching about a brother stolen
I remember the money borrowed from dad's wallet
Traded for cartons of newports and camels
So you could look him in the eye
Saying truthfully it wasn't you
I remember the sleeping all day
The shopping
The hoarding
The careless starch flamethrower that looked "nice"
I remember which one were you that day
You'd leave randomly
You'd return randomly
You'd smirk and bitch and provoke
I remember it takes 45 minutes to microwave a frozen lasagna
You never prepared meals for us
Dad pressure cooked chicken and boiled brussel sprouts
Peace and quiet was at Boston Chicken
I remember you never really cleaned
You never educated
You never really cared
Until it was always too late
I remember the blinds closed in every room
During the missionary trip to South Africa
The pensive panic with little kids
Bitching back at you to let us pay our water bill
Which one of you cared afterward?
For years I wished one of you cared about me
I searched but never found her
She never tried to reach me either
It took decades to wish that one would find me
Had I been found within the last few years
We would have taken care of her
I wanted her to know them anyway
But it's not all bad news I'm remembering
I also remember that God became what we are
So that we could become what He is
Including every one of you, who was no guardian angel
Since God is the one who vindicates
Who is the one who condemns you now
If He who is risen knew you and loved you most
Sandwich bags and all
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