Anamnesis (my wings part one)

I remember my first thought being about a can of soup

Everything changed with my birth

Or was it a shot?

 The docs were oblivious and Merck never made a peep

I remember the sandwich bags

The drenched vivas

Flies in window sills

Roadkill and raindrops spreading disease

I remember a holy man driving our Sunday route ahead of us

Just to remove diabolical obstacles 

So we could make it on time

And spare us all your bitching and carwashing 

I remember covering my face from fumes 

The greasy plaid couch pillows

The lysol spraying

The chlorine cleansing

I remember the eyes closed

The wiping of faucets

The crossing a brass fluted transition

The holes you burned in carpets to save the kosmos

I remember the video games and chips and soda

The weight gain

The weight loss

The bitching about a brother stolen

I remember the money borrowed from dad's wallet

Traded for cartons of newports and camels

So you could look him in the eye

Saying truthfully it wasn't you

I remember the sleeping all day

The shopping

The hoarding

The careless starch flamethrower that looked "nice"

I remember which one were you that day

You'd leave randomly

You'd return randomly

You'd smirk and bitch and provoke

I remember it takes 45 minutes to microwave a frozen lasagna

You never prepared meals for us

Dad pressure cooked chicken and boiled brussel sprouts

Peace and quiet was at Boston Chicken

I remember you never really cleaned

You never educated

You never really cared

Until it was always too late

I remember the blinds closed in every room

During the missionary trip to South Africa

The pensive panic with little kids

Bitching back at you to let us pay our water bill

Which one of you cared afterward?

For years I wished one of you cared about me

I searched but never found her

She never tried to reach me either

It took decades to wish that one would find me

Had I been found within the last few years

We would have taken care of her

I wanted her to know them anyway

But it's not all bad news I'm remembering

I also remember that God became what we are

So that we could become what He is

Including every one of you, who was no guardian angel

Since God is the one who vindicates

Who is the one who condemns you now

If He who is risen knew you and loved you most

Sandwich bags and all