Chattel

 

I was born a slave

Raised on microwaved lasagna

and Boston chicken

Sprayed in the face with lysol

All of my feelings ignored

I existed to glorify God 

and enjoy Him forever

if He chose me for everlasting bliss

instead of unending fire

Day after day

I was given schoolwork

I was handed chores

I was screamed at

Spit on

Beaten with wood paddles

and plastic paint stirring sticks

by cult leaders

I was forced to mow large lawns

with extension cords

and no pay

Waking up early each day

I was forced to sit in classrooms with bigots and pricks

I had few friends

and no one cared

I became sheltered, stuck at home

day after day

night after night

When I grew up I was given a real job

to caddy for wealthy people

swinging clubs at tiny balls

I would often leave my post 

and steal porn from Waldenbooks

When I buffed floors and cleaned urinals

I'd steal Newports from custodians

and smoke weed and pop pills during third shift

I ate cid and psilocybin to escape the pain

I moshed and raved to vent my rage

I drank and fucked around to indulge the passions

I lived paycheck to paycheck

eating junk food religiously

to chrismate what could not satiate

Everywhere I went I was sold shit

Shit to work for

Shit to shop for

Shit to live for

Shit everywhere that could not escape

without dying

Then one day I decided to end my life

and pull the trigger

and repent

of my slavery

to my childishness

to my laziness

to my virtue signaling 

to my hypocrisy

to my lusts

to my dishonesty

to my resentment

to my indifference

to my ignorance

to my immorality

to my foolishness

to my addictions

and accept my slavery

under a new Master

as a doorkeeper

in the house of my God

Chicken dinner

Father,

Thank you for the beautiful weather,

this delicious food,

and family and friends to enjoy these blessings with.

Please bless this food and the hands that prepared it,

and bless our time together.

In Jesus’ name,

Amen.

Heavenly Father,

Almighty and everlasting God,

Thou has provided such numerous blessings for us

that we often thank Thee with our lips,

even though our hearts are far from Thee.

Please have mercy on us and forgive us

for the foolishness and complacency and ease in life that we adore

in order to avoid fearing Thee and walking in the light of Thy commandments.

Acknowledging our unfaithfulness, and our unworthy estate,

we do acknowledge Thee to be the Lord of all 

and our gracious God who loves mankind.

Thou art full of compassion to all those who turn to Thee for refuge,

and so we now turn to Thee and ask 

that Thou wouldst bless this food and drink which Thou has given to us,

but not so that we would indulge in it and wipe our mouths clean,

saying we have done no wrong in Thy sight.

Rather, that through the prayers of the holy Fathers,

the blessed Theotokos and mother of Light,

and of ____________, 

whose memory we celebrate today because of Thy resurrection,

our minds would be renewed by a healthy fear of Thee

and our daily life transfigured by Thy Spirit in us.

Therefore we beseech Thee now, O Christ our God, 

to intercede for us

and bless this food and drink which Thou hast given to us, 

for we are Thy servants

and Thou art holy, 

both now and forever,

Amen.

Paraklysis

 

I know you’re spying over me.

A little here; a little there, like a fly

that keeps showing up

in the car three hours away,

at mass while little bells ring,

and at poolside while typing.

I see your wings in each pass.

So I thought nothing of how I lost 

two hundred plus paper cutlets

after pulling out one thin slice 

to place in the fishing basket. 

I just figured you knew better than I

about distributing to those here in need

Past Tents

 

                                                I love you

                                    I wish the world loved you

                                        when love had liberty 

    to care for the sick, the suffering, and those held captive by it

                                            I wish your husband loved you

    when love vowed before its creator 

    

to endure in sickness and health, and even through death

I wish I loved you, too

when love had arms

           

             to wrap around and squeeze

                            even with empty arms

Walking children into heaven

Walk with me, you say

Every mile is worth revisiting

Twenty years of life now gone

But I am with you

That note under the front cover was for you

All the poems and dreams

Splashed across pages, were for you too

Even to the completion of the age

Tonsured for Christ

 

In the midst of the congregation the praise of Christ is hymned because of you, O Reader Joseph. Through your life at the kliros, the humble path to exaltation is made manifest, illumined with the transcendent beauty of angelic melodies. By your constancy and loyalty, standing in praise and prayer, the way of salvation is guided and guarded for us. In keeping vigils, you brightened the path leading to our unending joy. Therefore we celebrate your light-giving and holy memory, and we cry aloud in one accord: Intercede with Christ our God that our feet would be made to stand dutifully in all divine allotments of service, with our hearts stationed on Him within the Great Congregation of ineffable praises, so that we, too, would be kept from straying onto evil paths and all attain the unity of faith and the knowledge of God’s unapproachable glory. 

Proselyte

 

I collect data which simpletons call facts 

I make observations blinded by traditions

I pose questions about questions that deflect

I develop arguments uncomfortable to mine

I offer suggestions others call speculations 

I have no evangelistic spirit

No mission below

No great commission from above

To advise others

To believe or not

Or even what to believe

As long as one believes 

That belief is faith in trust that’s loyal

To the faith entrusted to those who believe

My humor is dry 

I’m also not an enthusiastic tribalist

Geeked-out in defense of absolute truth

Nor am I a belligerent book burner

Or full-fledged misanthrope

I’m just heterodoxically dull

I neither assail Temple Mounts

Nor man apologetical barricades

I’m content 

As an embedded intelligencer

Offering provisional judgments 

Of guilded dogmas

Hoping to raise issues 

Others might find worthwhile pursuing 

You have been forewarned

You, with materialistic epistocracy 

You, with dogmatic goggles of ideology

You, with your reductionistic bag 

Of tricks, anomalies and absurdities

Explanations for every thing and why

All you who begin to listen to alternatives 

Will conclude with the same 

Commitments held before 

Multiple limitations will become excuses

Emotions will rule in moments of disagreement

Your adversary must be aloof 

To religious sensitivities

Historical complexities

Philosophical densities

Or theological tectonicities

Because you don’t actually long for the truth 

In the way a drowning man struggles 

For a breath of continued being

You’ll remain like those on powdered sugar

Beaches of sunny panhandles 

What you really want is a way to escape 

Yet remain comfortable and safe

Synonyms for justification

Of what you already trust