knowing God is knowing
eternal life and knowing
eternal life is knowing you
the real you
the you without OCD
or perhaps glorious
OCD glorified
with the perfect
eternal crutch
that makes you you
to all who knew
that knowing you is knowing God
knowing God is knowing
eternal life and knowing
eternal life is knowing you
the real you
the you without OCD
or perhaps glorious
OCD glorified
with the perfect
eternal crutch
that makes you you
to all who knew
that knowing you is knowing God
Dear Katie,
I’m listening now
Twenty two years of vibrations
And six hundred thirty six miles of string unwound
Now your tin can is touching my ear
I hear that you don’t trust God to change you
You’re not alone
Life feels lonely and powerless
When everything hangs on obsessions of ideas
I heard what you said about fear and depression
But phobias are products of actual organic illness
You also were not the only person depressed in that household
Everyone was depressed along with you
I heard what you said about needing change and happiness
You’re much stronger than you think
Not many are resilient enough
To carry such burdens as yours for forty years
I heard that you had a tumor
It’s shocking to learn about that now
Having never heard about it before
Is anyone surprised that David cared less?
I heard your foot was in bad shape
Another summer of fun ruined because of it
Even though you’d like to blame others
The kids were not safe or happy around you, so get over it
I heard that you’re moving to Cedarburg
That sounds like a lot of work to prepare for
Packing last minute sounds emotionally draining
Are you sure you’ll be pleased with any house they can afford?
I heard you really want to choose the house or see it ahead of time
But what if no one can read your mind or satisfy your expectations?
What if everyone is exhausted by your manic depression?
Wouldn’t that be painfully ironic, if true?
I heard you wanted to go home to your mom
That’s another seriously depressing thought
Things were clearly so bad that you just couldn’t stop entertaining
More depressing, imaginary desires
Then there was Jonathan
Did you know he was a drug addict then?
Did you care that he needed help?
Just imagine how worthwhile a drug addict teenager must have felt, too
I heard you mention twice your need to be “productive”
You need something to replace what you dwell upon obsessively
You know, things you can’t change
So you can blame God for not changing you
I heard you mention burnout
You sound exhausted and hopeless
Consider how everyone else feels too
Especially those you blame and whine around incessantly
I heard you want to live, work, and be happy?
Well then, what are you waiting for?
But don’t forget the list you left behind
With dozens of reasons for why you can’t work or be happy
I heard that no one knows the truth about your health or desires
And no one talks to you, and you’re not allowed to talk to them
That’s another depressing thought I can forgive now
Brought about because of your extreme mental illness
I heard that you’re scared, and concerned about anger
You want help but you’re not allowed to ask for it
And you’re “probably” not supposed to accept it
I call bullshit
I heard that you felt hopeless and did’t have help
You had no recourse, and couldn’t talk to anyone
But I know you gossiped to everyone all the fucking time
I call bullshit again
I hear that you wish you could start life over differently
If you could you would surely choose another destiny
Surely, Satan is to blame, or David, or God
They all work overtime, so they all qualify
I’ve really been trying to listen to your prayer
And what I have gleaned is this
The Lord did come to your heart and redeem and restore
Now it’s your turn to pray for whomever
Sincerely,
Whomever
I wish I could say I loved us
Is a terrible way to begin
A poem designed
To honor our memories
Of family life from within
With bleached puritanical lore
Paving the way
To some glorious day
When Antichrist and Y2K hype
Hold hands down its yellow brick road
But the actual truth is half as exciting
As hang-gliding, biking, skiing, or hiking
Into the forest of wild speculation
Where beasts of ex-husbands
Preyed on one victim
And chased into hiding
Where no one was looking
And no one could find out
Miss Durden’s new hangout
Secluded in north Aberdeen
What was it like
to be so afraid of death
that every box needed a bag
within a bag
within a bag
bundled together within more bags
What was it like
to be so afraid of death
that you gave
every last penny
for that burgundy town and country
just to have a home
What was it like
to be so afraid of death
that you just couldn’t live without
bibles and sabbaths
lysol wipes and vivas
diapers and sandwich bags
And what advice would you give your Son
now that your sight
is restored
and your mansion
secured
and you no longer fear death?
I'm not really into conspiracy theories, but...
I think it's pretty obvious that Trump is desperate
He wants people dead
He wants to build his own little empire
and radically change our democracy
He doesn't care about helping us get out of this pandemic
It's like he wants us all to remain trapped and sick, with no return to normal again
If he wanted us out, he'd mandate masks to be worn everywhere at all times
That's the only way to get everything back to normal
Unless there's a vaccine
which won't happen any time soon
because Trump doesn't seem to want one
Instead, he wants that hydrochlorine something-or-other bullshit
which has been proven to cause heart problems
And now that Putin authorized a vaccine for his people before everyone else
skipping the most essential safety trials
regardless of how sick his vaccine makes people
regardless of how many people are poisoned from his deadly vaccine
in order to radically turn their economy around and back to normal
regardless of how many lives are ultimately lost
you can bet that Russia will use that as a bargaining chip
to keep Trump in office
The last four years have proven at least that much
There is some serious fucked-up conspiracy shit in the Trump administration
and people don't seem to care
especially the kids
I don't know about you
but I care
I also think that the main reason why young people don't care about what's going on around the world
is because they are too easily entertained
and distracted
They just believe whatever social media tells them
They don't even watch the news anymore
That's how little they care
Livestream face panties
Scoff at Governor's orders
Flip your blinker on
Breast cup hangs off ear
But just momentarily
Masticate and slurp
Left turn or right turn
Virtues equal viruses
You are a racist