The Fragile

She lightens up an age of ugliness

Giggling, bubbling with pretentiousness

Ambitious when everyone's relaxed

Lacks ambition round those driven best 

To matter most among the meaningless 

I will let you fall apart

I will let you fall apart

I will let you fall apart

I will let you fall apart

Fragile, she imagines innocence 

She stays silent, target fixated

Two paths cross and she loses it

Perukes can’t hide bald insecurities 

I will let you fall apart

I will let you fall apart

I will let you fall apart

I will let you fall apart

There is no place to hide, but she tries

To build a wall to keep others off her side

I will let you fall apart

I will let you fall apart

I will let you fall apart

I will let you fall apart

There was no examination of self

I will let you fall apart

Only love on the spectrum with walls

I will let you fall apart 

Of estrangement easily built up

I will let you fall apart 

I was there too

I will let you fall apart 

Before I sobered up 

I will let you fall apart 

I was like you 

I will let you fall apart 

Grizzly Man

 

That scream

That crying

That whining and handshaking

That lying 

That intemperance

That tantrum

At that age

It poured out like a tipped over glass of wine

Then the sensitivity bled through the tablecloth

Of coddling

Of constancy

Of hubris

Of emotion

Of worry

At that age

Momma bear suddenly postured at perceived predators

Pretending her cub needed protection from pestering

Papa bear suddenly became ready, too

Ready to protect and defend and pounce if need be

So I pressed the power button and shut it all down

Taking in all the blame

I bulshitted my way quickly over to the end-table with the remote

I pushed the red button at the top of the plastic thingamabob with batteries inside

I pressed firmly and quickly to make the drama go away

These people are used to constant commercials anyway

See all this nonsensical reaction and worry?

See mama bear all fuckin mad and don't know why?

Did you hear that grizzly’s potty-mouth, too?

Did you see that cub on the spectrum turn around and freak the fuck out like a god damned lying banshee? 

I did, and so did the grizzly man’s cubs

But now that was all my fault

And it needed to become that way

No one else was mentally stable enough to feel the truth in their bones

They all needed distracting ads and entertainments instead 

So I pointed their attention away from the HDTV and directly toward the grizzly man invading their theme park

I volunteered to be the victim

Then they could feel whatever needed feeling and calm the fuck down

Needless to say, I don’t camp out in Bear Country anymore

bich

 

                        how do you

                tell someone

                     you want to respect 

                                                that you cannot

                                read their minds

                                           what an awkward place to be

                                                          when the other thinks

                                                                    you have been able

                                                to this whole while

Benji games

He did the hand waving tempo thing again

With muted voice and projection through nostrils

Pretending to know what he’s doing

With that pious man bun and beard on display

So I waved back with my left hand and finger

Waiting for him to notice what I was doing

I would have shouted, 

‘Hey! Dick with ears! 

Stop pretending you know what you’re doing!’

But we all were mid-prayer

And it’s not like I’m hiding my feelings anymore

So a prolonged hand wave back sufficed for now

I even wrote in the book of petitions

'Stop pretending there is no problem’

I don’t expect any confrontation

But even then I'd ask what the problem is

And if one points a finger

I’ll simulate his retarded hand waving tempo gesture

with my right hand

Dust ye shall return

I wonder why it matters

if we don’t get our buttholes

and bellybuttons back

Does one really need a particle 

of the shell that once was food for the worms?

Will we need barbers, doctors, and cobblers too? 

What if people imagined

a world with only one return

and one promise

transpiring long ago?

Supposedly this tenet is serious

Sheepherders are looking 

for moving targets

It’s not just concerning

It’s very concerning

They will hunt you down

and dismember you 

It will be horrific

Even God won't be able to reassemble you on the last day.

Imagine bodies absorbed 

by tree roots 

and fire

Another chopped 

into pieces 

by car crash or grenade

Others chewed 

and digested 

by bears

sharks

and politicians

Wandering organs

reassembled into earth

Centuries of worms 

Shitting out the flesh of saints

Then the Scriptures 

will finally 

be fulfilled

The last Adam returns 

as promised 

to the adamah

Lord have mercy

 

In this year of one next to another

We all chose together

But before we filled our bellies with lobster and banana tempura

I said ‘done’ in sudden silence and darkness

I was finished before the image of God, too.

I threw it all away below peels not quite good enough

Not even for worms

Again, I should have seen this coming

What the hell

I saw this coming from the beginning

But now it’s done

Done

I quit

I can’t breathe

It’s just foolish

I’ve been here before

Just not with mist and breath

My heart tightens in my chest

I could have hid longer

She deserves better

The three do too

May I sing

Again

Love

In this eleventh year,

On this night we all shared?

4015

Eleven years today

You would have loved her

It’s too bad you only met her mom

I’m not surprised by that though

She only ever seems to care about others

She only ever seems to open arms wide

She only ever seems to lavish God’s praise

To craft another position paper in her mind

Like your ex with his fantasy family

Please tell Jesus I love him

Eleven years today