Back Peddling

I remember thinking 

it’s about time

enough of being walked all over

finally we have reached an agreement

we have a plan

people are now paying attention

since no one wants confrontation

a letter is decided

in which there is agreement

and room for revision 

that way 

if nothing is commenced

after being promised

and promised

and promised again

with only the action of punting further

we have an appeal to another

who, too, can agree 

that it’s about time

to stop selling ourselves short

Then steps in a carnival 

of sacred heart song and dance

this will ruin everything

this will force into corners

we need more patience

we need to storm heaven wth prayer

we need to not offend

it’s his sandbox

it’s his sandbox

it’s his sandbox

we need to work with him

we need to approach him

we need to be patient

we need to respect his office

we are already on the verge

for many years

in the service of his immaculate heart

then I remembered

this is why 

nothing ever changes

The Goods

 

What a wonderful world we live in

with snuggling noses and arms wrapped around baby burritos

with strangers who donate stem cells to save strangers

with windows rolled down to hand out change to toothless souls in need

with pantries that give and give and give with no strings attached

with dolphins that swim around divers with sharks

with marines who push cars across flooded streets

with husbands and wives who laugh with each other and gaze at each other’s joy

without the back seen to show the facade of innocence

without the back seen to hide the mask covering guilt

without the back seen to thrust into the flesh unwillingly

without the back seen to remain employed

without the back seen to travel or keep your business

without the back seen to be accepted or hated by all

without the back seen to masquerade a sacrament of salvation

What a wonderful world for those who remain alive

Chattel

 

I was born a slave

Raised on microwaved lasagna

and Boston chicken

Sprayed in the face with lysol

All of my feelings ignored

I existed to glorify God 

and enjoy Him forever

if He chose me for everlasting bliss

instead of unending fire

Day after day

I was given schoolwork

I was handed chores

I was screamed at

Spit on

Beaten with wood paddles

and plastic paint stirring sticks

by cult leaders

I was forced to mow large lawns

with extension cords

and no pay

Waking up early each day

I was forced to sit in classrooms with bigots and pricks

I had few friends

and no one cared

I became sheltered, stuck at home

day after day

night after night

When I grew up I was given a real job

to caddy for wealthy people

swinging clubs at tiny balls

I would often leave my post 

and steal porn from Waldenbooks

When I buffed floors and cleaned urinals

I'd steal Newports from custodians

and smoke weed and pop pills during third shift

I ate cid and psilocybin to escape the pain

I moshed and raved to vent my rage

I drank and fucked around to indulge the passions

I lived paycheck to paycheck

eating junk food religiously

to chrismate what could not satiate

Everywhere I went I was sold shit

Shit to work for

Shit to shop for

Shit to live for

Shit everywhere that could not escape

without dying

Then one day I decided to end my life

and pull the trigger

and repent

of my slavery

to my childishness

to my laziness

to my virtue signaling 

to my hypocrisy

to my lusts

to my dishonesty

to my resentment

to my indifference

to my ignorance

to my immorality

to my foolishness

to my addictions

and accept my slavery

under a new Master

as a doorkeeper

in the house of my God

Chicken dinner

Father,

Thank you for the beautiful weather,

this delicious food,

and family and friends to enjoy these blessings with.

Please bless this food and the hands that prepared it,

and bless our time together.

In Jesus’ name,

Amen.

Heavenly Father,

Almighty and everlasting God,

Thou has provided such numerous blessings for us

that we often thank Thee with our lips,

even though our hearts are far from Thee.

Please have mercy on us and forgive us

for the foolishness and complacency and ease in life that we adore

in order to avoid fearing Thee and walking in the light of Thy commandments.

Acknowledging our unfaithfulness, and our unworthy estate,

we do acknowledge Thee to be the Lord of all 

and our gracious God who loves mankind.

Thou art full of compassion to all those who turn to Thee for refuge,

and so we now turn to Thee and ask 

that Thou wouldst bless this food and drink which Thou has given to us,

but not so that we would indulge in it and wipe our mouths clean,

saying we have done no wrong in Thy sight.

Rather, that through the prayers of the holy Fathers,

the blessed Theotokos and mother of Light,

and of ____________, 

whose memory we celebrate today because of Thy resurrection,

our minds would be renewed by a healthy fear of Thee

and our daily life transfigured by Thy Spirit in us.

Therefore we beseech Thee now, O Christ our God, 

to intercede for us

and bless this food and drink which Thou hast given to us, 

for we are Thy servants

and Thou art holy, 

both now and forever,

Amen.

Paraklysis

 

I know you’re spying over me.

A little here; a little there, like a fly

that keeps showing up

in the car three hours away,

at mass while little bells ring,

and at poolside while typing.

I see your wings in each pass.

So I thought nothing of how I lost 

two hundred plus paper cutlets

after pulling out one thin slice 

to place in the fishing basket. 

I just figured you knew better than I

about distributing to those here in need

Past Tents

 

                                                I love you

                                    I wish the world loved you

                                        when love had liberty 

    to care for the sick, the suffering, and those held captive by it

                                            I wish your husband loved you

    when love vowed before its creator 

    

to endure in sickness and health, and even through death

I wish I loved you, too

when love had arms

           

             to wrap around and squeeze

                            even with empty arms

Walking children into heaven

Walk with me, you say

Every mile is worth revisiting

Twenty years of life now gone

But I am with you

That note under the front cover was for you

All the poems and dreams

Splashed across pages, were for you too

Even to the completion of the age